Hitting and Mimicking

I've been slightly obsessed (who me?) about an issue that has cropped up recently in my parenting journey - my son hits me. Yes, my precious cherub-faced, sugar-plum, cuddle-bunny of love and laughter, hits me. Not all the time, mind you, but even once was shocking to my proud "I've-got-the-perfect-son" Mommy brain. I have yet to find the way put to an end to it. Usually, he hits me when he's having a fit after I've either removed something from his grasp or removed him from some activity he was set on, and he'll cry and squirm and then, whack, sometimes in my face even. Or, if he's standing on his own, he'll cry with every fiber of his being and then run over to me and hit me on my leg, to make sure that I know he is unhappy with my actions, as if the decibel of his howling and the stream of tears running down his cheeks weren't clues. Other times, he tests the waters by hitting me lightly on my chest or arms when we are otherwise just chilling, just to see what my reaction will be. I know he knows that this is wrong, I can tell by the way he lowers his head and peeks up at me with the corners of his mouth downturned as I stare him down. I've tried several tactics, some of my own devising, some at the advice of others. I've grabbed his hands and firmly told him, "No hitting." I've slapped his hand gently, but this just doesn't feel right for me, especially if I'm telling him not to hit. I've yelled at him, which makes me feel like Joan Crawford because he's so small. I've held his face still and made him look me straight in the eyes as I've said in a slow Clint Eastwood-esque tone, "No. Do not hit Mommy. That hurts." I've tried to get him to repeat, "No hitting." I even pretended to cry once, which made him cry even harder - that was brilliance in the making (NOT)! Then when I saw that he was doing it to get a reaction out of me with the half-hearted hits, I tried to ignore him completely. Nothing has really worked. It seems this hitting thing is pretty common among his age group; a friend told me biting is next. I really hope not. For now, I've decided to just keep with holding his hands down and telling him firmly, "No hitting." How do you get a child this young who feels things so strongly to channel his anger in a way that's not physical? I know he just doesn't know the answer himself. One time, he was so angry at me for changing his diaper (I know, BAD MOM!), that he whacked himself in the forehead. I hope this hitting is just a stage and will pass, because I've seen the horrors of hitting gotten out of hand and it is not pretty. And I see how easily one could slip into the realm of that poor Mom struggling with her kicking and screaming child in public, feeling judged on her parenting skills (or seeming lack of) or her child's incorrigible temperament. I admit it, I've judged and thought to myself, "Man if that were my child..." or, "That will never be me." Oh boy, what little I knew!

My son is the master of mimicry. It cracks me up, the things that come out his mouth shortly after I or K have said them. The intonation and cadence are exact, which is what really makes it funny, especially since the words aren't necessarily crystal clear. On the other side of the coin, it has made me realize that I have to be more aware of what slips out of my mouth, and I'm not talking about cursing, because I don't really curse (I've made good use of the phrases, "Gee Whiz" and "Golly" as a substitute for any slip of the tongue, and that just sounds RIDICULOUS, like I've slipped onto the set of "Leave It To Beaver", but that's what started coming out). But I'm talking more about how I handle situations. The baby spilled almost an entire packet of his favorite yogurt melts, and without thinking, I said in a huff, "Oh NO!" And now, whenever ANYTHING spills on the floor, he says in such a tone of exasperation, "Oh NO!" Even if he didn't see it spill but just sees the aftermath on the floor, "Oh NO!" I don't want him to inherit my overly anxious reactions, and I've tried to soften the effect by making it more sing-songy, but it may be too late, I don't know. Parenting - what a trip, LOL!