Bringing Up Bébé

I read the book, Bringing Up Bébé, by Pamela Druckerman, a few months back. I came upon it by accident while browsing my Nook store.  I didn't realize it was a new book and quite a hot topic among the mother set. After reading it, my initial reaction, other than thinking, "Why am I not French?!" was to feel a little defeated as a mother raising a son in America.  I don't believe it is the author's intent to make us Americans feel inferior to the French, I do believe she is just giving her honest evaluation of what she has experienced and observed as an American raising her children in Paris.  And yet, it is difficult, I've decided, to read ANY parenting book and not feel like you are doing something wrong.  There always seems to be a subtle tone of admonition lurking beneath the type.  I think I will stay away from parenting books for a little while.

That being said, I did find the book a fascinating read, even if just for pretending I was in Paris as I read it.   And I think there were definitely many valid points about parenting, particularly if the goal is to raise a child who is respectful and who minds his/her parents.  One point that keeps rearing its head in my brain is the fact that French mothers teach their children the value of waiting from the moment they are out of the womb.  The "cry it out" method, as we call it in America, is more about teaching the child to understand that he/she must learn to wait.  There is comforting of the crying infant, but only after some time is allowed to pass to train the child to learn to wait.  This reminds me of Dr. Sears a bit.  As many times as I have to tell an impatient LPP to wait, this really struck a chord with me.  My M.O. has always been to avoid the crying and to rush to fulfill whatever need LPP had immediately.  I don't know if this teaches him the value of patience, and the value of understanding that he is part of a bigger environment and not the center (although he is the center of my world).  There is also the observation that the French view children as individuals and not as "projects to be raised" as we tend to do in America.  And then, as individuals who are regarded to have valuable input in society, there's also the ever-important rule that French children must say "hello" to grown-ups; not doing so is a grave faux-pas in France.  In America, we don't make those same demands in the same way; we hope our children will be polite, but if they aren't, we chalk it up to their being "children".

Obviously, there was a lot more discussed in the book.  But I couldn't help feeling that perhaps it was too late to apply the things that I learned in the book, with LPP being the ripe ol' age of 3, that I missed my window to effectively raise a child who respects my authority and listens to me.  I know I give LPP lots of loving, I think he will always know that his Mom absolutely LOVES LOVES LOVES him.  But as far as discipline goes, I am not sure how skillful I am in this department.

Read the book.