Mommy Outing

Yesterday, K watched the baby and suggested I take the car and go to the store and get the items on my "To Buy" list I had been compiling over the past few weeks. And it was glorious to get out, I hadn't been outside in 5 days. I felt like a human being - not that I don't feel like a human being inside with the baby, but I felt more normal I guess is a better way to put it, more familiar, more like the "me" I used to be, which was comforting. The "me" I've been lately smells, doesn't have time to shower or go to the bathroom, has crazy hair, sleeps maybe 3 or 4 hours a day, sits in an armchair for hours, watches boring TV, eats maybe two meals a day, doesn't drink enough water, and is too tired to have profound social interaction. But that "me" also has a baby, and I wouldn't trade that for the world. Anyway, it was nice to drive again, especially now that I can after my C-Section (I was advised to wait two weeks). And there was a part of me, as I wandered through the aisles of Target, that felt a little sad, because the last time I was there, I was shopping for things while the baby was in utero, and I kind of missed it. And there was a part of me that felt rejuvenated and revitalized, like I had more energy to bring to my mothering by getting some "me" time. And then there was a part of me that was completely excited by the prospect of getting back to the baby, who I missed and was getting more and more anxious to return to. It was definitely a nice reprieve from the arm chair I've been stuck to lately.