Lips Are Sealed et al

Well, the last few days have taken the baby and me a few steps back in the solid foods department - he just doesn't seem interested at all in anything I give him on a spoon. He won't even open his mouth anymore like he did when he voraciously searched for his first spoonful of yams, shoving the spoon into his mouth with his chubby fingers. Now, I put the spoon right up to his shut lips and when a little bit of food does manage to slip through into his mouth, he gives me a slight expression of disgust and annoyance. So, I don't push it, I figure he'll give me the cue when he's ready to try again. Before this little setback, we'd managed to expand his menu to include sweet potato and yam (what is the difference, please?), sweet peas, bananas and a teaspoon or two of applesauce. I did read that one day the baby can show interest in solids and none the next, and my Mom pointed out that perhaps he just doesn't feel like eating solids right now, the way our adult appetites can vary from day to day. Maybe his teething is affecting his appetite. I don't know. What I do know is that he has been very smiley, vocal and giggly the last few days, and it is just so adorable.

I had an epiphany today, as I was lying in my bed, snuggled close to my sleeping baby, looking out at the clouds in the sky through the glass door that leads out to the terrace: I have to be thankful for my situation and how it all worked out to allow my baby and me to have this special time together and to trust that everything is working out as it should and in a way that is positive. Yes, I've been laid off, but the timing of it couldn't have been better. Yes, I am living in limbo, but living in complete bliss with the best company a girl could ask for. Yes, I am away from my family, but I am here with very little distractions, which gives me even more time to give my undivided attention to the baby. Everything is good, and will continue to be. No more pining or whining. I was watching a cloud very intensely as I was having this epiphany, and this cloud, as did all the other clouds, looked like a face out of a Raphael painting. It resembled a woman in profile with hair blowing in the wind. As I watched this cloud, I realized that it was in motion, that it was morphing over a lengthy period of time into another form, and the change was so subtle, only noticeable because I was staring at it for so long. And I think this is how I must look at this time in my life - even though I may feel like I am in waiting mode, that things are stagnant in terms of my occupation and near future plans, nothing is really stagnant, everything is in motion, even if the changes are so subtle as to go nearly undetected. It was a comforting thought. Plus, if I look at my baby, boy I can see how much things are in motion. He looks so different from when I first met him - it's as if the newborn pictures only hint at the person that he was to become and will continue to become as he gets older. So wild.

We had some nice afternoon showers, complete with some powerful claps of thunder that startled me, the baby and Brooklyn equally (although only Brooklyn ran out of the room). I love rainstorms, and the smell outside once the rain stopped was magical - the scents from the various herb bushes around the complex were almost dizzying, in a good way (especially the lavender!). It felt fitting for the sky to shed drops because I was feeling just a tad misty today - K left for Europe once again, this time for just under 6 weeks. It isn't as long as the last stretch, but somehow enduring that last stretch makes having to endure any more separation seem tasking. He gets to go to Spain and France this time, which sounds so decadent and cosmopolitan. I'm hoping for lots of pictures!