What I've Learned from My Son - 2

Stay present.

Very often, without even realizing it, I spend those precious morning moments between waking and actually getting out of bed lying on my back staring out into space, with my baby drowsily nursing at my breast, and my brain completely consumed by anxiety over finances. This anxiety then spirals into worry over what I am going to do with the rest of my life, which then spirals into hysteria over the fact that I have NO idea what I am going to do with the rest of my life, which then feeds back into my initial anxiety over finances. This isn't conducive to the start of a great day. And then sure enough, every time, my son will move his adorable face into my direct line of vision, with a gentle pat on the chest, and look me square in the eyes with a knowing smile that seems to say, "Hey Mom, come back. It's me and you, here, now," and he waits for me to register and reciprocate his smiling gaze. Once I do, he simply goes back to nursing. And I silently thank him for keeping me present and reminding me that the present moment is what really counts. The past is done and the future is unknown and unrealized, the only fully viable, breathing and awake state is the present - where else can we truly be alive? I swear, it's like he has a special radar that always detects when I'm foolishly going off the deep end and he purposely brings me back with that prescient look in his eyes and that contagious smile of his. And I have no choice but to take a deep breath, thank Heaven for my many blessings, especially my son, and just drink in the moment of me and my son just enjoying each other's company as we start our day together. Thanks baby.