Weaning - The Final Round

This will be my last post about this whole weaning business, because whining is not attractive. But, it seems to be official - my son is no longer nursing. I have weaned him. But who's gonna wean me? That's the question! Because I didn't realize how much breast feeding, and even the pregnancy, had structured my life. In 2 years and 9 months, I haven't eaten anything containing peanuts, which I LOVE, because of the speculation that avoidance by a pregnant or nursing woman with allergies of any kind could help prevent offspring from developing allergies. I haven't had any caffeine (except for the one time last month when the café near work was out of decaf coffee - I couldn't believe how peppy I felt). I haven't had any alcohol. I haven't had any sushi and I've barely eaten any fish because I was too overwrought about the whole mercury issue. Over this past weekend, I went to the store and bought K some M&Ms with peanuts and realized that I could actually eat them, now that le petit prince is weaned. And it made me sad. And I couldn't bring myself to eat one when K offered it to me. I was offered a glass of wine yesterday, which I declined. I was tempted to buy my old standby, Nutter-Butter cookies, tonight on the way home. But I didn't. Because in a weird way, there was something purposeful about not being able to eat or drink certain things, it connected me to my son even when he wasn't physically with me. And maybe I'm not ready to throw that off. I was reorganizing my son's dresser and saw my breast feeding cover and thought, "Well, I don't need that anymore." But I left it in there anyway. I hadn't actually used it in a very long time, my son HATES that thing and always has. But it has nice memories attached to it. Well, I guess that's it. I'm done. Off to drown my sorrows in a glass of Merlot with a plate of peanut-glazed salmon croquettes followed by an after-dinner cappuccino with some peanut-butter cookies.