Social Studies

Last week, I attended my first "Mommies Circle" at my yoga center and I have to say that I am proud of myself for going outside of my social comfort zone and putting myself in new social situations. There's something about being a mother that makes me less afraid of trying new things. Maybe I feel like a bonafide "adult" now (as if turning 40 wasn't a clue) and feel like I have to lead by example, or that at this point in my life, the fear of rejection or ridicule in these new situations doesn't have as strong a hold on me. Also the joy of sharing these new experiences with my son completely outranks my potential fear.

The "circle" consisted of about eight moms, and two moms-to-be, averaging in what may be their early 30s (possibly late 20s). Two babies were a tad younger than my baby, otherwise all the other babies were older. The moms were mostly outspoken as they passionately discussed limiting vaccinations and the pros and cons of circumcisions. There was one woman who intimidated me a bit, and only because she was so definite and strong about not getting certain vaccines and not circumcising her son, that I felt like if she knew my son was circumcised, she'd open up her mouth and eat me alive!!! No, not really, and I actually DID tell her that my son was circumcised, but in the context of how I couldn't even look when the procedure was being done, relating to her admission of completely breaking down in tears anytime her husband brought the subject of circumcision up. I think what was intimidating about the woman was how steadfast and sure she was in her beliefs, and I think in this whole pregnancy and new motherhood journey, I've never felt so strongly opinionated or sure about anything; most times I feel like I am floundering about trying to figure out what is best for my child. Hence the breast feeding AND formula (in true Libran indecisiveness!). Most of the women were nice, a few went out of their way to ask me questions to help me feel welcomed in the group. But I did feel a little like I was coming in on a group that was already familiar with each other. There were two women I thought I could connect to. The baby slept for most of the circle - he took the easy way out, LOL! But I am glad that I went and I think I will go again this week. It's just nice to be around other moms and babies. I will say that it inspired me to cease simply wearing the first thing that I can get my hands on and to give a little more thought to my mommy wardrobe; I felt so sloppy with my t-shirt, worn out sneakers, milk-stained tank top substituting for a bra, and jeans onto which I am pretty sure the baby leaked pee just a few days earlier! I think I am out of the stretch of time where such fashion behavior is excusable (C-Section recovery and sleep deprivation, etc). Especially now that I can fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again!

Last week, when I was getting my mail, which is located inconveniently on the first floor of my building, I heard a newborn baby wailing behind some door. And I got so excited to hear another baby in the building. However, by the time I got my mail and headed back to the elevator, the baby had stopped crying and I couldn't tell which apartment the crying had come from. I was completely prepared to knock on the door and introduce myself as a fellow new mother and suggest to the other mother that we stroll our children together as a sign of comradery; but alas, I'd have to wait until my next mailbox trek and hope to hear the baby again. Yesterday, as I was riding the elevator to the garage level, the elevator stopped on the first floor and in walked a young woman with her mother and a stroller travel system, not unlike my own. I recognized the travel system as a badge of new motherhood and quickly put it together that this must have been the baby I heard last week and I was so thrilled. I asked if the woman lived on this (first) floor, and when she said she did, I just went on a verbal rampage about how I have a newborn and I heard her baby crying and I seem to remember speaking with the mother when I was pregnant about how her daughter was expecting too and a few weeks after me, and how we should stroll the babies together and how hard it is being a new mom and getting no sleep, yadda, yadda. I am pretty sure that they thought me odd, although they remained polite, if not completely matching my level of excitement. Again, this is an encounter that I would not have initiated had I not been a new mother. It is pretty funny - glad I can laugh about it!